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Prepared, Not Scared
Schools have fire drills, earthquake drills, tornado drills, etc. Why? So everyone knows what to do. Preparation can reduce panic. Panic freezes our brains - we can’t think, don’t know what to do. By practicing drills, we can prepare ourselves. This builds confidence. You say to yourself “OK - I know what to do, no reason to panic, I just have to do this...”
If we’re going to prepare our kids for natural disasters and emergencies, shouldn’t we also prepare them to handle personal safety issues? It's OK to make the drills fun, and part of your natural teacher/protector role - like a game.
Of course there are no Perfect Answers, so we’ll deal with this question right up front. Will using these techniques guarantee that my child is abduction or assault-proof? The answer, sadly, is ‘No’. I wish it could be otherwise. It’s like asking “If I wear my seatbelt will that guarantee I won’t have an accident?” We take precautions to limit the threats and increase our chances for a positive outcome. It’s the same way with training our kids in personal safety. It’s no guarantee, but it can help us to avoid problems or dramatically increase the odds of getting out of a situation before it gets really bad.
We also need a dose of reality. Movies and video games reinforce a lot of bad images for kids - for instance that a 60 pound kid can outfight a 200 pound determined assailant. Real life doesn’t work that way. One of the biggest challenges we have in teaching young boys is that their minds are full of these false images, and when confronted with a dose of reality, many are shocked. Most boys seem to look for physical challenges so they may not be easily intimidated by someone trying to hurt them. They may see it as a challenge to stand ground and ‘duke it out’. There may be times on the playground that the ‘stand and fight’ mentality works - and certainly it works metaphorically in life later one. But for kids it can be much more dangerous than learning how to escape. I always ask new, young guys to punch me in the chest or stomach as hard as they can. In 17 years, not one has been able to generate the power needed to make me stop. Girls, on the other hand, generally are less inclined to get physical and tend to back away from a physical threat faster. Most of the girls take these drills more seriously and seem to be wired for getting out of harm’s way.
For more on the drills we use, check out the workbook. It's full of drills, fun activities and lessons that we've been using with kids for 20 years.
Let’s work together to help kids be good, strong and safe.